I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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