I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
