the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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