We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
3pm strippers are depressing
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
