Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
