She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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