All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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