1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
