sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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