if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
