She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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