Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
