Nicole vs. Life
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
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