About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize