Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
