his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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