Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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