i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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