News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize