My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
