so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
