WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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