hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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