Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We left the knife in your bed.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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