she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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