If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
