Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
