arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
