He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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