Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize