WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize