I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
