ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
