i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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