I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
