went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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