Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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