i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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