she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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