I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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