Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
