Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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