I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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