i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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