She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
