That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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