"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
