How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
