I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
