Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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