3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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