Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Randomize
