I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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