That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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