If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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