Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
