But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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