I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
