How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
