Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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